CLA was roped into being a parent chaperone on her daughter’s kindergarten field trip. She and I have similar opinions about kids. We like the ones we know. We both agree that her kids are our favorite ones. Other people’s kids? Not so much. A room or car full of children puts me in fear of my life. It blows my mind that I get paid more to lawyer than a teacher does to corral several dozen five year olds. If I had that many kids in a room I’d need a lot of backup. A fire extinguisher, some rope, several cubes of bouillon and a New York City police officer on a horse. At least.

. All three kindergarten classes from the school went on the trip. One of the male teachers is what we call a “Santa Cruz type” – very earthy and touchy feely. Let’s call him Teacher Manuel. Probably he’s been living here so long he’s forgotten that the rest of the country hasn’t quite accepted the vegan-yoga lifestyle. Some of the kids were hitting each other and Teacher Manuel tries to explain to them why they shouldn’t fight: “Hands are not for hitting! Hands are for working the earth. And good loving…” At this, a couple of the parents unsuccessfully stifled a laugh. Good loving? Teacher Manuel glared at the giggling parents. He explained, lifting his hands as though to show the children, and explained further, “We love each other.” He didn’t mean it in a Barry White kind of way, he meant it in his Santa Cruz way – love in a holistic, positive, mother earth kind of way. I prefer the other kind, but I guess it’s one of those age-appropriate things