When parents age: a true phone conversation.

"Hi, mom, did you feel the earthquake?"

"No, no I don't have time right now. It will have to wait until the weekend."

"Uh...what?"

"I have too much to do. It's been a very busy week."

"Did you hear what I said?"

"What?"

"What did you think I asked you?"

"I thought you asked if I'd set up the new phone."

"I asked if you'd felt the earthquake."

"There was an earthquake!?"

Boo!

Too busy to be original, but there are some links to some great Halloween stories on Defective Yeti's site here.

Kind of blue.

The weather is cloudy and overcast, even though it is supposed to be sunny today. And over a quarter-million people have been evacuated in San Diego as the wildfires burn hundreds of thousands of acres. The Union-Tribune has a fire map of the wildfire area and it just doesn't seem possible that such huge areas have been burned. You hear the numbers on the news but it just doesn't have the same impact as when you see the huge areas affected.

Now there are reports that at least some of the fires were started by an arsonist. It's hard to imagine that level of evil, it's something I just don't understand. That's kind of an insipid statement, I admit. What kind of evil do I understand? I don't get child molesters or murderers any more than I get arsonists, but there is something so deliberate and calculated about setting a fire that just gives it a special kind of evil. Is it because it affected so many people? Does an arsonist want to see that, want to see the people crying as their homes burn down?

Six hours and 25 minutes until margarita time.

I run like a girl.

Sunday was the Nike Women’s Marathon , and JNC and Hoov and I did the half. Unfortunately, I stopped for a brief visit to the portas at mile 3, whereupon my phone died an untimely death (contrary to the popular belief, it did not fall in, it just doesn't work any more). As a result, I was unable to find my companions again and ended up running the next 10 miles alone. That's not bad considering I've run 26.2 miles alone, but it was kind of a bummer because I was expecting to run with them and was really looking forward to experiencing it together. Fortunately, we had pre-arranged a meeting spot at the end so we were eventually reunited.

If you are interested in doing a marathon or half-marathon, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this event! However, the vast (VAST) majority of entries are reserved for TNT. So if you want to run it as an individual, you must, must, must register on the first day because it will sell out. If you are thinking of doing your first distance race and you really want to do this race, you might want to consider joining your local TNT team. My running buddies know I have my issues with their training program (that I won't go into here) but it is a great cause and I know many people who had a great experience with TNT.

Here's the review I wrote about the event on Yelp:

"Overall, a great event for a great cause. If you are not currently partaking in an "active lifestyle" and you want to take on a big challenge and do a marathon or a half marathon, or if you have been affected by leukemia or lymphoma and you want to do something to raise money for that cause, I highly recommend this event.

You hardcore runners out there who are trying to PR, qualify for Boston, hate people who listen to music on the course and get annoyed when slower people do not stay to the right? This may not be the race for you. This is kind of the "fun run" of marathons.

PROS:
It was great to see people from all over the country running through San Francisco. Coming downhill, when you first came around the corner and saw Ocean Beach, you could hear the runners gasp at the view. "It's so beautiful!" I hear people saying. And in that moment, my heart felt like it would burst with pride. I am so lucky to live here! Thank you to all the people who traveled so far to participate, for your great energy and being stoked to be here (thanks for spending all that money, too, we need it!). Your enthusiasm made me appreciate San Francisco all over again.

The event was well-organized. The packet pick-up was smooth, there were plenty of volunteers and food. The aid stations along the course were well-stocked. Great volunteers: they got out of bed at o'dark thirty in the morning to help out and they had an amazing attitude.

The positive energy on the course was great. I had been warned that if you are not sporting a TNT jersey that you might be in danger of not getting handed water at the aid stations, or that the people on the course would be conspicuously silent as you ran by. I'm not on a TNT team, but I have made many donations to my friends who have done TNT events, including several hundred $ to people in this race alone. After the event, I can say I have absolutely nothing bad to say about TNT's involvement in this race. $18.5M was raised for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and you can't argue with the impact that amount of money has. Plus, seeing so many people running for a cause really makes the race more meaningful. There were posters along the side of the road with photos of TNT honorees, and even reading the names on people's jerseys was inspiring. Most of the support is for TNT because that's where most of the people in the race are from. The whole event is geared at being a TNT fundraiser, and I found the overwhelming TNT presence made it a positive experience.

CONS:
Because this is a Nike event, there was no evidence that any other sportswear companies exist on the planet. Usually there's some interesting gear at the expos. This expo was brand-alignment central: Apple and Nike. I felt a little overwhelmed with Nike branding by the end of the weekend and I ended up blowing off some steam and some $ at the New Balance store. Ha!

Most of the post-race amenities were swamped with people, so that whole "get a massage and a pedicure" after the race? Uh, yeah, if you're willing to wait an hour in line to get it! If you just ran 26.2 miles (or even 13.1), you are not up for waiting in long lines. You want a shower and something to eat. Which reminds me...

You have to pay extra for transport back. An extra $10 in advance or $15 at the expo. The lines for the buses were INSANE. Way, way longer than the post-Bay to Breakers line that took an hour. There were plenty of buses there, but there was no one directing people to the buses or helping out with that. Despite paying extra for the transportation back, we ended up getting a cab back because the thought of standing in line for two hours was not appealing.

I was disappointed to see in another review that the race organizers don't flyer the neighborhoods that will be affected by the event. It went along with the attitude of "We are Nike, and we'll do what we feel like doing."

But at the end of the day, this event raises EIGHTEEN AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS to fight blood cancer. That is simply incredible, so an event that would otherwise deserve three stars gets four."

I'm not sure if this is for cat people or dog people, but it's hysterical.

No cats or teenagers were hurt.

From the peanut gallery

Hoov, who just got out of the shower and is prancing around Jenny's apartment singing Kelly Clarkson, just told me to write, "I had the run OF MY LIFE!!!" (I just got back from a gorgeous run along the beach). Hoov needs to understand that in this blog, "all caps" is reserved for things like offensive ads for toys and people who have 17 children. Exclamation points are reserved for truly momentous things, like Supreme Court cases and anything Ann Coulter says.

Finest City

Right now, I'm sitting on the window seat in Jenny's place, looking out at the ocean and the palm trees and remembering why every time I come to San Diego I wonder why I don't move here.... well, move back here. I lived in La Jolla from 1994 - 1998 (minus one year "abroad") but living life as an undergrad somewhere like La Jolla doesn't give you a really good sense of the area. Jenny has shuttled back and forth between the Bay Area and North County SD since college, but swears that this time she's here to stay. I can't blame her - she's got a sweet place - a beautiful condo in Encinitas, one of the many cool, funky towns along San Diego's north coast.

What I do remember about San Diego is all about precincts. In college I was much more active in politics, and can probably tell you where you're likely to get a good reception when you're pounding the pavement on a Saturday morning to try to get a single goddamn Democrat elected in this town.

Odd sight of the day: When I left home Friday night it was rainy and foggy and this morning in San Diego it rained briefly, causing everyone in the greater area to briefly lose their mind and the sheer insanity of precipitation. We stopped by a surf expo at the Del Mar Fairgrounds and there was a guy with a huge tank on the back of a truck and he was vacuuming up the water. I guess if you were in front of a restaurant, but the fairgrounds? He was just going through the parking lot, vacuuming up the water. Go figure.

Thirty Minutes to Better Running

Courtesy of Runner's World, three different 30-minute workouts.

Workout One

• Run an easy 6-minute warmup.
• Do eight 30-second pickups with a 60-second jog after each. Run the pickups at about your 5-K race pace. After the last 60-second jog, you will have been running for 18 minutes.
• Do a 10-minute acceleration run, starting after your last 60-second jog (above). Do the first 2 minutes at half-marathon pace, then increase your pace by about 20 seconds per mile every 2 minutes. By minutes 7 and 8, you should be running close to your 5-K race pace. The last 2 minutes, you'll be going even faster, which you'll recognize by the tongue hanging from your mouth.
• Finish with a 2-minute cooldown.

Workout Two

• Jog 2 minutes.
• Run 1 mile at your half-marathon pace. Walk or jog 2 minutes.
• Run 1 mile at your 10-K race pace. Walk or jog 2 minutes.
• Run 1 mile at your 5-K race pace.

Workout Three

• Start with 5 minutes of calisthenics that include pushups, pullups, crunches, and lunges. Example: 25 to 50 pushups, 10 pullups, 25 to 50 crunches, and 10 lunges with each leg.
• Run 5 minutes very easy to warm up.
• Run 15 minutes at about your 10-K race pace.
• Finish with 5 minutes of cooldown stretching of the calf muscles, hamstrings, and quads.

"Gosh, that's... uh, interesting."

Also last weekend was the first of three consecutive weekends of Open Studios, where local artists open their studios (and often their homes) to display their wares, discuss their work and hopefully make a few sales in the process. This is one of my favorite events because you get to meet artists who live in your town, and are working away in homes you drive by every day. We got a map of the studios and hopped on our bikes to check out some of the art in our neighborhood.

My two favorites were Bob Barbour and Tom Kennedy. I've admired Barbour's work for years and was delighted to discover he lives in my neighborhood. His best-known images are shots of waves, which he often shoots in the water. He explains on his site:

"As my career progressed, my interest was drawing me "into" the water. I wanted
to create unique and timeless images of the ocean, directly from the ocean,
giving viewers a perspective that most would never have the opportunity to
experience. These photographs are captured while I'm swimming or floating on a
mat, oftentimes in extreme conditions. To protect the camera, I design and build
my own custom water housings."

The Open Studio at Bob's house was set up really well. He has a studio/office in his backyard and had refreshments and chairs set up. When we were done peering, we I turned around and looked at his house. A smallish Victorian style home, it is painted a bright blue with white trim. The house is wave colors. Very cool.


Next we went to see Tom Kennedy's paintings. We hadn't planned on stopping here, but we were riding by and saw the bright green sign that designates an open studio and decided to check it in. There were easels set up all through the backyard and inside the studio. His paintings are modern and non-representational, so it was great to actually have the artist there so you could talk to him. When it comes to really modern work, it's hard to just look at a canvas. "Hmmm... lots of... colors... what is it, exactly?" Tom invited us to sit down in the shade and we chatted for a while, and then he showed us some of his favorite canvases, and talked about how he'd created the paintings, what he thought about them. In addition to being friendly, he was incredibly honest about his work, telling us about what he felt didn't work well and his concerns about the works and the art "industry" generally. This is my favorite thing about this program - being able to stand there and have someone explain their work - how they got involved, what it means to them. Art on a wall doesn't mean much to me. I want to see where it comes from, who made it and where, what they think of it, what do they want people to know about it...

Tom had taken apart a book on modern artists and pasted the pages on a board that was hung by the entrance. As you came in, you could check out mini-bios and an example of the work of the best-known modern painters, like Kandinsky and Pollock. It was a great reference and I think it helped place the paintings in the context of modern work generally.

We stopped by a few other places, someone who did prints with woodcuts, another person who printed on textiles, more painters and a woman who does mosaics with little pieces of ceramics. It must be hard to put all your artwork out there for people to just walk in off the street and judge. I tried to go out of my way to say something nice to each of the artists, although in one case I was so befuddled I just ended up gingerly retreating out of the house when the artist was in another room.

In the warm California sun...

This week we had some much-needed rain, but it felt like saying good-bye to summer, especially since last weekend was packed with lots of summer activities.

We had free passes at the Boardwalk, and on Saturday spent a few hours there with Nat and baby Molly. I think it was the first time JFJ has actually been on the rides, and also the first time I tried the famous "Dippin Dots" ice cream. Most tourists head straight to the Boardwalk and I forget sometimes how many people are from out of town. If you ever need to convince someone that America is in the midst of an obesity epidemic, take them to the Boardwalk.

Sometimes that place really does seem like the village of the damned. One of the human tragedies on offer that day was this very large pregnant woman in line behind us for one of the rides, and she was describing in vivid and EXTREMELY LOUD detail how she was kicking out her boyfriend because he cheated on her. It was a story filled with profanity and repeated references to the court system, family services and the boyfriend's "stash." I thought the story was going to end with her saying, "And that's how we got to be on Dr. Phil."

On Saturday afternoon we helped set up for the Superkid Triathlon, which looked so fun I wanted to borrow a munchkin and enter them in the event! Kids from age 3 to 14 participate in a swim/bike/run at the Simpkins Swim Center. I know, it sounds like child abuse, but it's not an endurance event, the distances are scaled to be age-appropriate, so for example the three year-olds swim across the pool once (with a parent/guardian). ride their little tricycles down the length of one section of the parking lot and then run 1/20 mile to the finish line! The longest distance is for the 11-14 year-olds, who swim 200 yards, bike 2.5 miles and run 1 mile. Unfortunately, we drank too much wine that night and overslept the next day so we didn't get to see the race itself! Maybe that's for the best since I'm sure even though most parents are pretty chill, there was bound to be a few of the uber-competitive variety, screaming at their five-year olds from the sidelines. And that shit makes me crazy.

Latent hostility.

Earlier this week, the sun was shining temptingly outside and Nat and I decide to talk a brief walk. As we come back in, we bump into her boss, who is walking outside as we go in. We exchange pleasantries about the weather:

Me: "It's lovely out there."
Nat's boss: "Yes, I was outside earlier and it's really nice."
Me:"Sure is tough to come back in."
Nat's boss: "Well, off I go."
Nat: "And don't come back!!"

The weird thing was, Nat just continues the conversation we'd been having as though she hadn't just told her boss to get the hell out.

No, I was just calling to say hi.

I was on my way to work this morning and sitting in my car, waiting for the traffic light to change. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a naked man. I looked again. Sure enough, there was a youngish, slightly scruffy man walking right down the middle of the road. Buck. Naked. He came to a stop to my left and, looking straight ahead the whole time, carefully, even a little primly, sat down in the road and then leaned back until he was lying directly on the double yellow line dividing the street.

This is an extremely busy intersection and, public nudity aside, I was worried this guy would be run over. I called the local police department.

"Santa Cruz Police, are you calling about the naked man on Soquel Avenue?"
(After a brief moment of stunned surprise) "Uh, yes."
"We're on our way."
"Ok, thanks."

Only in this town do they answer the phone, "Are you calling about the naked man?"

Fuck the Cottage, where's the Rose Petal Executive Office?

Women are now CEOs at Kraft ($34B T.R.), Xerox ($16B T.R.), eBay ($6B T.R.) PepsiCo ($35B T.R.) , Time Inc. ($5B T.R.), Wellpoint ($57B T.R.), Archer Daniels Midland ($44B T.R.), Avon ($8B T.R.) and Sara Lee ($12B T.R.).

The full CNN article is here.

There's always a place here for NASCAR jokes.

NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast'

George Clooney is awesome (#47 in a series)

If that purple thingy looks familiar, look in the back pages of your nearest "Maxim" or "Men's Health" where the sidebar ads are - that is none other than "The Liberator," a sex aid that helps couples get into spectacular positions by arranging themsleves on the plush foam. I love the fact that he's taking it out the front door so casually, like he's going to the grocery store with it.

King Lines movie

This movie (and the people in it) look INSANE. The local showing is already sold out, but hopefully it will end up accessible to a wider audience. In the meantime, the trailer will make you wonder what the hell you are doing sitting in an office all day.



See more at Reel Rock Tour.

The Scientific Christian

Last night I met up with CMW to do a little shopping and have a healthy dinner. Not surprisingly, we ended up sucking down margaritas at Chili's the whole night.* This is pretty much how the entire semester of Professional Responsibility went. We'd show up with the best of intentions, and then look at each other and say, "Margaritas?" Maybe we don't have all the Model Rules memorized, but the important thing is that we supported the economy. And we both passed the bar and haven't been disbarred yet, so we must have done something right.

Another usual thing with CMW and I is to start out with polite chit chat about work and friends and eventually it turns into really heavy meaning-of-life discussions. I enjoy CMW's perspective because she's an engineer and has the most scientific, logical mind of anyone I know. Like a Vulcan in Ann Taylor. Like all rambling, drunken conversations we eventually turned to religion (the immediate precursor to a discussion about sex). CMW and I are both lapsed Catholics who believe that the number of people who believe in Creationism correlates to the lack of emphasis on hard science in public education. We were talking about the difficulty of faith and what we would think about Christianity if we lived in a non-Western country and someone came and pitched us the story of Jesus. CMW pondered the matter of Christianity for a moment, and I could see the left side of her brain churning away, "I suppose it's plausible." she eventually concluded.

*I think this explains my, uh, intense reaction to the Rose Petal Cottage.

Yellow Wallpaper Optional

I have just seen the most disturbing fucking thing on television. I come home, and JFJ is watching the Ken Burns documentary on WWII. But once he hears me coming up the stairs, he quickly flips to the E! special, "100 Greatest SNL Moments." So, it's 10:30pm at night and we're watching Adam Sandler clips, and an ad comes on for something called "Rose Petal Cottage." I wish there was a clip of the ad on YouTube, but there's not, so you'll just have to watch E! at after 10pm to see it. Anyway, this is the most fucked-up commercial I've ever seen, and I grew up when pet turtles were throwing down martial arts in the sewers with rats (who thinks this stuff up?).

So, Rose Petal Cottage. The ad shows this little girl, baking and doing laundry in her little cloth cottage, with the most disturbing voice-ever, encouraging parents to buy this cloth-covered prison of the mind where your little girl can "live out her dreams" (that's a direct quote) by baking and doing laundry. I know that's my dream. And that's what I would want for my kid. No fancy education, profession, or means of providing for herself. Just laundry. 40 years of feminism, and this is what we've got. My Little Laundry Center.

Optional pieces of the Cottage: a lounge chair ("Where you can park your fat ass when you're done with the laundry." -JFJ), and a nursery (which is really just a crib) where you can park the kid in between loads of whites.

Here's what the Hasbro site has to say about this product:

"Give your little girl a place of her own, with this fabric-covered playhouse that gives little imaginations a place to roam free. Standing just over four feet tall, this cottage has double-sided fabric walls to help little homemakers feel right at home, complete with windows, a Dutch door and chimney. When it’s time to prepare pretend meals, the durable fiberboard stove has knobs that really turn and an oven door that opens! Playing “house” in the ROSE PETAL Cottage lets your little girl build her very own home – and her imagination! – right in your living room!"

What kind of fucked-up message do we want to send to little American girls? I mean, Barbies, ok. I played with Barbies as a kid and I still managed to become a professional adult female with only the usual self-image drama, nothing I had to stick my finger down my throat about. I'm very much about let the kid play with what they want to play with. And yeah, it seems like little girls like to play princess and dress up,a nd little boys like to... destroy... things.... But this shit? This is outright brainwashing. There's no "imagination" being used in the Rose Petal Cottage. There's just baking and cleaning and popping out babies (did I mention the nursery?) because, basically, sweetie, that's what you're here for. You cook, you clean and you pop out some munchkins. Want to drive a tractor? Want to play with the ant farm or the chem set? Well, that's just too fucking bad, sweetie, because that's not what little girls do, now get back into that cottage and make me my goddamn dinner 'afore I have to backhand you.


I am now convinced that Hasbro is being operated by the crazy right wingers and it's all part of a plot to turn the nation's little girls into Stepford Wives. Get 'em while they're young, brainwash them into subservience before they get any crazy ideas about growing up to become financial analysts or engineers or (GOD HELP US), Presidential candidates!

I had to blog about this before I compose my sternly-worded email to Hasbro Toy Company and Obedience School. We'll see what they have to say about this. If you never hear from me again, the Southern Baptists came for me in the night. Tell the world my story.

GOY: Girlfriend Of the Year

If there is one thing that gets me the coveted GOY award, what would it be? The fact that as he watched the nail-biting Rockies/Padres game he got to eat freshly-baked cookies? The fact that I want to see We Own The Night for the same reason he does (Eva Mendes is Smoking Hot)? No, it would probably be his birthday presents: the complete DVD set of Indiana Jones movies and two tickets to a Sharks game. On the ice. When I gave him the tickets, I kept pointing to where it said "Row: 1" but I don't think he totally "got" where we were sitting until we were there, with a 1" plexiglass in front of our faces.




Full cups of beer and happy (we had to learn the hard way why you shouldn't put your beer there when the first set of players slammed into the glass and the beer went everywhere).











No more beer?

I have a whole new admiration for hockey players after seeing them up close. The action is lightening fast. Most of my pictures from the game were blurry because the players were moving so quickly but I did get a few that show the action.

In the end, the Sharks beat the Calgary Flames 2 to 1. It was a preseason game, but the Arena was crammed and everyone was really into the game.

Happy birthday, JFJ. The Sharks play some great hockey, but the best team at the Arena that night was us!

Not for the workplace!

SNL...COLONEL ANGUS