Mind Games

Having a conversation with my mother is like playing Mad Libs. Now I no longer have to remember the details of my own life, but of hers as well. And I’m held to a high standard, there’s no margin for error as she gets quite grumpy if I can’t immediately identify the missing noun. This particular conversation was had yesterday evening while I prepared dinner and Scrumpy held court in my pint-sized kitchen with a glass of wine.

“I went to see that movie… you know, the one with that actress I really like. You know, what’s her name?”
“Helen Mirren.”
“No!”
“Judy Dench.”
“Yes, that’s her. She has that new movie with, um…”
“Cate Blanchett.”
“Right, so we saw that movie, and I can’t say I cared much for it. It was very dark and a bit nasty.”
“Mmmmm…”
“Then we went over for that hike I really like… you know the one…”
“Sobranes?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s far too cold to go to Sobranes. The other one.”
”The other one?”
”Yes, you know the one I mean… err….”
“Point Lobos.”
“Right, Point Lobos. Obviously. Why do you think I would go to Sobranes?” glares over rim of glass. There’s really no reply to this, so I just keep pulling out plates and washing things.
“Anyway you’ll never guess who we saw at Point Lobos.”
“You’re right, I probably won’t.”
“The old art teacher! From the high school! The one who left!”
Ooooh, this one is tricky. She’s mentioned this person before during one of these monologues, but I’m not sure I’ll get the name. She stares at me expectantly.
“Hmmm… Ann?” An eyebrow goes up. Wrong answer. Suddenly it comes to me.
“Laurie!”
“Yes, so we saw Laurie…"

Inserting the missing words into my mother’s conversations has become second habit for me. I find I half listen to everyone’s conversations and end up inserting words that I think they’ve forgotten. I find myself doing it constantly at work, and even to strangers. It's a matter of time before I insert the wrong word into the wrong person's conversation and get myself in serious trouble.