Scammers: Beware of Otters!

In a former life, before me met me and discovered the joys of living la vida Redhead, JFJ got a Rolex as a gift from his former boss. It's spent most of its life in its original box, only to be brought out for the occassional wedding or job interview. JFJ is not really a Rolex guy and decided he would post ad ad for the watch on craigslist to see if he got any takers. He did, and collected a tidy sum from a local man who is a watch collector. He also got a number of responses that were clearly people trying to scam him. The most blatant example was this one:

David Mika wrote:

Hello thanks for your reply,
I will be needing this item for my inlaw
for his wedding in the ending of June,therefore i
will be needing it as soon as possible.he is located
in NC and I am ok with the item and will like to
make an immediate payment,I will instruct my
financial instituton in the United States to send
you a check as soon as you receive your funds.you
will deduct your $2000 and also deduct $100 to
shipped the item to my son.If you are okay with this
let me know so that I will contacted my financial
institution and they will send you a check of $4,000
and you remove the sum of $2,100.and send the rest
funds to the other client because the payment is my
retainer fee and i will instruct them to send the
check on your name so as to cash it and deduct your
funds and send the rest funds to client and shipped
the item also,and i would want you to send me your
Full Name, Contact Address and your Mobile Phone
Number so my financial institution can send the
check to you. Thanking you for your maximum
cooperaton. Would await your urgent correspondence.
Sincerely

JFJ's enormous reserves of patience were taxed by wading through all the drama, and he vented his frustrations on the poor scammer:

To: David Mika

wow, that's perfect! I'm going to be in NC for the next 2 weeks! This is going to be sooo easy now! What are the chances it could work out this well??
Why don't you give me the address of the wedding and the bride's full name and I will personally deliver the watch? Why burden your "financial institution" with this transaction when we can meet and party at the wedding? I love weddings! I'm so excited now, thank you for thinking of me. There's just one small issue, however. You see, my best friend loves a good wedding too but he is extremely ill right now. He is absolutely heartbroken that he may not live to see your son get married. I'm worried that he won't survive the trip, and I fear that I will be returning with his body in a box. Recently however, I discovered that there is a new experimental drug for people with a condition such as his. Rumor has it that this miracle cure would help people like him function almost normally in a public setting. Though some side effects can include diarrhea and vomiting, barking like a dog, and longer erections - I think you would agree that this is a small price to pay for having a semi-normal life.
So this is what I've wanted to tell you for so long. And now that I've got that off my chest and breathed a sigh of relief; I need to ask you for your help. Help me. Help my friend. Help us. Together, let's make his life brighter. Let's usher in a new beginning for him, and give him the gift of this beautiful world and give him back his right to exist in it.
Do the right thing, David. Do the only thing, David. Do what's in your heart.
Do reply with a Mastercard or Visa number for the amount of $4100 and include your full name as it appears on card. Don't forget the expiration date and the 3 digit code on the back.
Thank you, David. You are an amazing person. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

I love you.