It's an evolution-themed week here at On The Rocks...

Ok, folks, cancel those flights to Orlando because I've got some summer vacation plans for you that are going to blow Disneyworld right into the hereafter (um, I'm afraid that's true. Stop worshipping idols of oversize rodents, you heathens).

That's right, ladies and gentiles, it's the Creation Museum, a 65,000 square foot "walk through history" that "brings the pages of the Bible to life." The Creation Museum appears to be the Bible Belt's answer to natural history and science museums across the country, only it's not pretending to teach you anything, so it's probably a lot more fun. The Creation Museum promises "murals and realistic scenery, computer-generated visual effects, over fifty exotic animals, life-sized people and dinosaur animatronics, and a special-effects theater complete with misty sea breezes and rumbling seats." Take that, American Museum of Natural History! The Creation Museum can be as fun as it wants, because it's got The Lord on it's side! I bet there's no preachy environmental exhibits at the Creation Museum. And the website specifies that firearms are not permitted in the museum.

Thanks to the efforts of an intrepid student at Eastern Kentucky University, you can see photos of the museum as the finishing touches are added. I have to tell you, I simply cannot wait to get myself to Petersburg, Kentucky, so I can check my .45 at the door and get me some interactive learnin' to offset all those years at university!

No, seriously. It actually looks really fun. I'm concerned that I'm funding Operation Rescue with the price of my admission fee, but surely I can offset that with a substantial donation to Planned Parenthood or the Act Up...? This is a good example of why the Christian right will eventually win over this country. They make stuff fun and cool. Science involves lots of hard work and studying. And nerds. And when it comes to being a fundamentalist, all you really need is The Bible and zeal.

The thing that kills me about Christian fundamentalists is that they're really, really good at what they do. Even though I mock them, I bet the folks at the Creation Museum would be pretty nice if this pro-choice, Hillary-loving, Catholic California girl showed up. They believe they are saving the country. They have a clear vision of what they hope to achieve. They're cohesive, they're organized, and they have extremely slick marketing. This is something the Christian left could never hope to achieve. We've got, like, Al Franken and the Prius. That's the best we've got, America! Good luck!