And the Bob Dole Grumpy Old Man Award goes to: Fred Thompson!

Fred Thompson “Leader of the Pack”

Thompson has selected a song about “Betty” and “Jimmy” who meet at the candy store and have a brief romance. Betty’s dad tells her she can’t see Jimmy anymore, and after she breaks up with him, tearful Jimmy speeds off into the night and dies in an accident, with the not-so-subtle implication that he killed himself rather than live without Betty’s love. Ahem. What in the WORLD does this have to do with anything? At least most of the campaign songs have a positive message about the country or a theme about change. Fred’s song is about… Fred. And how he is the, uh, leader of the pack…?

Let’s not forget how the song ends:

“The leader of the pack - now he's gone
The leader of the pack - now he's gone
The leader of the pack - now he's gone
The leader of the pack - now he's gone.”

Not exactly a positive message, is it? If only Fred was gone from the campaign.


Also, I think it’s interesting that he chose a song that was released a full two years before his wife was even born. Fred married Jeri (with an “i”!) in 2002 when she was 35 and he was 59. When asked by the Associated Press in 2007 what his favorite possession was, he said ”trophy wife.” An unfair message for Fred to send when he defends her qualifications as a potential first lady from the other side of his mouth.

Wikipedia says that Obama’s campaign song is “Better Way” by Ben Harper and not “Move On Up.” Hmmm... must go back and check my ”sources”.

desilusionado

Last night I had a really vivid dream that I had enrolled in a one-month study abroad program in Spain. Sounds great, except it was accompanied by the panicked realization that I was leaving the next day and had done nothing to prepare. I didn’t have a flight booked, I hadn’t arranged to get the time off work, I hadn't packed, I hadn’t even told my boyfriend. In the dream I was trying to be as calm as possible and just methodically figure out how I was going to get organized and get to Spain in the next 24 hours. My friend Oodles told me she had family in Spain, and I could stay with them for a few days until I found a place to live. This was the only part of the dream that was actually realistic, because Oodles does have family all over the world and often offers them up as a kind of family bed and breakfast. But since it was an anxiety dream, nothing else was going right. I found a flight, but couldn't find the airport on a map. There was this mysterious person who was supposed to be helping me but kept pointing to the map and insisting that Spain was where Germany is. Just as I was beginning to doubt my own sanity. I woke up and felt immediate relief that I didn’t have this complicated mess to figure out. Then I was immediately bummed, because I had to go to work, and not Spain.

"And now I'm proud to present the next President of the United States..."

I’ll leave the meaningful analysis of the issues to the educated pundits and tackle something a little more in the spirit of this blog: campaign songs. I'll tell you what I would have picked as the campaign song. Also, there will be complaining about Canadians. I'd love to hear your ideas on campaign songs, too, so bring it on in the comments. Today, we do the Democrats.

Hillary Clinton: “Blue Sky” by Big Head Todd and The Monsters

Clinton’s theme song used to be “You and I” by Celine Dion but it was replaced after Hillary’s campaign belatedly realized the song was written as the theme for Air Canada. Far more troubling to me is the fact that Celine Dion is a French-speaking Canadian, and as everyone knows, they hate two things: Freedom and America. So it’s good that the theme song has been replaced. It doesn’t really matter what she replaced it with, so long as it’s not the theme of a foreign airline or written by a freedom-hating Canadian.

My suggestion:
Clinton campaign events often play “Suddenly I See” by KT Tunstall which I think would have been a great theme song for Hillary’s campaign except it has the word “hell” in it and that’s probably still considered profanity in some parts of the fucking country.

Barak Obama: “Move On Up” by Curtis Mayfield

When I first looked up Obama's campaign song I thought for one horrible moment that Obama had chosen “Movin’ On Up” the theme from the tv show "The Jeffersons". I kid you not. I had a full minute of trying to imagine Senator Obama walking onto the stage, waving to the crowd, with "The Jeffersons" theme song playing in the background. It was like Ron Paul’s wet dream. Then I saw the name of the artist and realized I was thinking of something totally different. Still, it scares me that when I see the title of the song the first thing I think of is The Jeffersons. Apart from the fact that people of my generation may have that momentary incorrect association (and there’s really only about a dozen people in my generation voting anyway) this actually seems like a good choice. It has a positive message and there's an association with the civil rights movement. There's always the danger that people will associate a song from that era with smelly hippies having sit-ins. And it doesn't have enough of a rock n roll to it that makes you want to jump up to your feet when he walks on stage like when Clinton the First used "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac. Now there's a song the Teamsters can dance to.

My suggestion:
Obama would probably get flack if he didn’t choose an African-American artist. Ok, fine, but since Obama is the youngest candidate* my choice would be something more modern. For example, Kanye West’s “I Wonder” which contains the line, “Do you even remember what the issue is?” This seems appropriate given Obama’s long, imprecise answers. When he’s done answering a question and you feel like, wow, that was so inspirational… and yet I have no idea what he just said.

John Edwards
“This Is Our Country” by John “formerly the Cougar” Mellencamp.

This is actually a pretty good choice. It’s upbeat, the lyrics are positive and it hasn’t been used as a theme by a Canadian airline.

My Suggestion: “When It’s Over” Sugar Ray
It’s endearing that Edwards is still out there running for President (as far as I can tell that’s all he’s been doing since the last election) but at this point his chances of getting ahead of Hil-Barak are minimal. Which is fine with me, because even though I like his politics he’s a trial lawyer and I trust those guys about as far as I can throw them in their money-lined suits.

Edwards has been paying Obama a lot of compliments lately, which makes me wonder if he’s hoping to be tapped as a running mate. Maybe he can get one of the moderators to pass Obama a note at the next debate - I guess the kids don’t really do that anymore, a text message is probably more appropriate (“U R cool. Want 2 B running m8s?”).

Tomorrow: Republican theme songs!

*total conjecture. He looks like the youngest, he’s certainly the least experienced, but I just can’t be bothered to double-check.

Disgruntled?

This morning I took my car in for an oil change. Fascinating, I agree. I went over to have a cup of coffee and read the paper at the Java Junction while the car was being worked on. There is a plethora of reading materials, the local paper, separate stacks of the two weeklies, a pile of schedules from the local community college, the real estate rags… you know the drill. As I sit there enjoying my java a guy rushes through the door and over to the stacks of papers lines against the window. He scoops up the entire stack of the community college schedules and, muttering the name of the college under his breath, rushes outside. I strained to look where he had gone but didn’t want to attract any attention should he decide to run back in for the Pennysaver.

Rahabilitation???

I apologize for the 24-hour spelling error in the post below, I've been trying to fix it but have been encountering issues with Blogger. It made me queasy every time I looked at it. Also, I love Brie's comment about scare tactics with kids. My guess is that they were telling them that so they wouldn't try to pester otters in the wild. But do many people get that close to otters in the wild?

Finally, none of my bones were broken on the snow trip. I just found a photo of an x-ray and thought it would be funny. Ha. Ha.

Insanely cute otter video that will make your brain actually hurt

Video of orphaned sea otter pup's rehabilitation. HOW DO I GET A JOB SNUGGLING BABY OTTERS???



More info about sweet little snuggly baby otter:

Abby, a California sea otter pup, is cared for by Mark Bressler, senior animal care specialist at SeaWorld San Diego. The Santa Barbara Marine Mammal Center found the otter stranded and near comatose on Jalama Beach, north of Santa Barbara, Calif., on July 21 and brought it to SeaWorld for rehabilitation. The female pup, which was estimated to be less than a week old when rescued, is being bottle-fed around the clock at SeaWorld and weighs approximately four pounds.
When the young otter was rescued, she was dehydrated, hypoglycemic, having difficulty maintaining her body temperature and weighed about three pounds (sea otter pups weigh between three and five pounds at birth). At first, the otter was too weak to nurse and had to be tube-fed. Animal care specialists eventually were able to get her to drink from a bottle. The otter pup is showing signs of progress, including nursing from a bottle regularly, and maintaining a normal body temperature of 99 to 100 degrees F.
The California sea otter is listed as a threatened species by U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service. Threats include oil spills, entanglement in fishing nets and disease. The three California sea otters now on display at SeaWorld's Rocky Point Preserve were originally stranded and rescued as part of the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Sea Otter Research and Conservation (SORAC) Program.
Since 1965, SeaWorld San Diego has rescued thousands of animals and has treated as many as 475 marine mammals in one year. SeaWorld has raised three other orphaned otters in the last 15 years, in cooperation with Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Next time I say I'm not a natural snowboarder, maybe you'll listen.

Well, after a two month absence from the blogosphere I thought it was time to explain my absence. In my last post, I explained that JFJ and I were off to the snow and I was a little nervous about trying snowboarding for the first time. And now you see why.

Gobble gobble

Hope you had a great Turkey Day! Most of my readers were just hoping to survive Thursday without causing grevious bodily injury to one of their relatives. JFJ and I are up at South Lake Tahoe, hoping and waiting for snow. That's right, HOPING for snow. As you know, I am about the farthest thing there is from a "snow bunny." But Heavenly has a limited opening tomorrow and I'm hoping to get a snowboard lesson in. My prediction? I'll be in the hospital in traction by noon. So cross your fingers (and whatever else) that everything goes smoothly!

P.S. If things do go badly tomorrow, I just want to get it out there that I wanted to go to Cabo San Lucas for Thanksgiving.

A cause they can get behind!

A woman I helped sponsor on the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in San Diego sent this photo around. The San Jose bike cops came down and helped out with the walk. I like that he has made his own boobs.

Another mystery explained

I got home early for work and went for a run. I come back just as JFJ is getting ready to head out for his evening run.

JFJ: "Hi, baby. Did you have a good run?"

Me: "Yes. But explain this to me about men. I got the 'Woo-hoo!' from three different cars of guys. Do they really think that's a compliment?"

JFJ (knowing when he is trapped): "Uhhh..."

"What, do they think I'm going to be so excited to get cat-called that I'm going to stop running, and offer to get in the car and blow them all?"

"Hmm... I see your point..."

"Yes."

"But there's something you have to understand about my gender."

"Ok, explain."

"See, we'll play any odds. Even if we know the chances are one in a million, we'll go for it."

"So, guys yell out of cars on the off chance that one day they'll yell the right thing to that one crazy chick who's going to say 'Alright!' and jump in the car and give blow jobs all around?"

"Pretty much."

"Good to know."

Examining and abusing the human body.

Last weekend JFJ and I did two things that could be fun or could be crazy, depending on your perspective.

On Saturday, we went to the Body Worlds 2 exhibit at the San Jose Tech Museum. This special exhibit is the display of real human bodies (you know, dead bodies) that have been preserved using a process called plastination. The soluble fat and bodily fluids that cause the body to decompose are extracted and then some kind of vacuum plastic injection thing happens and - voila! Real/plastic body. In order to better illustrate how the human body operates, the bodies are posed into "active" poses, such as hitting a baseball with a bat, ice skating and even balancing on one arm with a skateboard prop.

Apparently the exhibit is controversial because some people think it is disrespectful to show the dead body in this manner. JFJ admitted he was a little weirded out by the fact that he was looked at the skinless, preserved body of an actual person. But I could never really personalize it. I made a conscious effort to try to engage on that level, by looking at a body and thinking, "This was a real person. They had hopes and dreams and a whole life and then they died and their body cells were filled with plastic resin and here they are." But I just never felt like they were anything more than a scientific tool, with no more emotional resonance than a plastic skeleton. Hopefully this doesn't make me a psychopath. But if it doesn, at least I'm already in the right profession.

This is an amazing way for everyone, but especially kids, to learn about the human body. For a (non-squeamish) school-age kid who was learning about anatomy or who had expressed an interest in a career in medicine, this would be such an enriching experience. Even for the Average Joe, the exhibit helps promote healthy lifestyles by showing what happens to the body when it gets abused.

I would challenge any smoker to go through the exhibit and not resolve to quit immediately. The example of the regular lungs and the smoker's lungs is like a Scared Straight for cigarettes. Yikes. Same thing with the cirrhotic livers and the aortas that had built up calcification. Actually seeing what unhealthy habits can do to the body really makes you realize how important it is to take care of yourself. When you don't see that buildup on the inside of your aorta, I'm sure it just seems like the doctor is just lecturing you about cholesterol, yadda, yadda, yadda. But seeing it right there in front of you... let's just say I haven't had red meat since Saturday.

You can find out more about Body Worlds at the official site.

On Sunday, we did the Silicon Valley Marathon and Half Marathon event. He did the full, I did the half. JFJ blew his previous time out of the water by almost a half-hour, coming in at just over 3 1/2 hours! I didn't expect him to finish so quickly, so I was still re-parking the car after my half-marathon when he crossed the finish line. Poor Otter, though, all that pushing the redline, he ran out of steam at mile 25 and had to be helped for the last mile by a guy who he called the "race angel." As soon as he finished he had to have three cups of electrolyte replacement drink poured down his throat by the folks from the medical tent. See what I mean about some people might think that's crazy?

It's not just pants, it's shorts and skirts, too.

I am doing my favorite dance, the I-Still-Don't-Have-Any-Pants-On-And-I-Have-To-Leave-For-Work-In-Five-Minutes Dance.

JFJ: You really don't like to wear pants, do you?

I shake both head and booty enthusiastically, no.

Me: I wonder what will happen when I start to go senile and walk around the neighborhood with no pants on.

JFJ: When you go senile? How will they know?

Me: Probably no one will be able to tell.

JFJ: It will be a smooth transition.

When parents age: a true phone conversation.

"Hi, mom, did you feel the earthquake?"

"No, no I don't have time right now. It will have to wait until the weekend."

"Uh...what?"

"I have too much to do. It's been a very busy week."

"Did you hear what I said?"

"What?"

"What did you think I asked you?"

"I thought you asked if I'd set up the new phone."

"I asked if you'd felt the earthquake."

"There was an earthquake!?"

Boo!

Too busy to be original, but there are some links to some great Halloween stories on Defective Yeti's site here.

Kind of blue.

The weather is cloudy and overcast, even though it is supposed to be sunny today. And over a quarter-million people have been evacuated in San Diego as the wildfires burn hundreds of thousands of acres. The Union-Tribune has a fire map of the wildfire area and it just doesn't seem possible that such huge areas have been burned. You hear the numbers on the news but it just doesn't have the same impact as when you see the huge areas affected.

Now there are reports that at least some of the fires were started by an arsonist. It's hard to imagine that level of evil, it's something I just don't understand. That's kind of an insipid statement, I admit. What kind of evil do I understand? I don't get child molesters or murderers any more than I get arsonists, but there is something so deliberate and calculated about setting a fire that just gives it a special kind of evil. Is it because it affected so many people? Does an arsonist want to see that, want to see the people crying as their homes burn down?

Six hours and 25 minutes until margarita time.

I run like a girl.

Sunday was the Nike Women’s Marathon , and JNC and Hoov and I did the half. Unfortunately, I stopped for a brief visit to the portas at mile 3, whereupon my phone died an untimely death (contrary to the popular belief, it did not fall in, it just doesn't work any more). As a result, I was unable to find my companions again and ended up running the next 10 miles alone. That's not bad considering I've run 26.2 miles alone, but it was kind of a bummer because I was expecting to run with them and was really looking forward to experiencing it together. Fortunately, we had pre-arranged a meeting spot at the end so we were eventually reunited.

If you are interested in doing a marathon or half-marathon, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this event! However, the vast (VAST) majority of entries are reserved for TNT. So if you want to run it as an individual, you must, must, must register on the first day because it will sell out. If you are thinking of doing your first distance race and you really want to do this race, you might want to consider joining your local TNT team. My running buddies know I have my issues with their training program (that I won't go into here) but it is a great cause and I know many people who had a great experience with TNT.

Here's the review I wrote about the event on Yelp:

"Overall, a great event for a great cause. If you are not currently partaking in an "active lifestyle" and you want to take on a big challenge and do a marathon or a half marathon, or if you have been affected by leukemia or lymphoma and you want to do something to raise money for that cause, I highly recommend this event.

You hardcore runners out there who are trying to PR, qualify for Boston, hate people who listen to music on the course and get annoyed when slower people do not stay to the right? This may not be the race for you. This is kind of the "fun run" of marathons.

PROS:
It was great to see people from all over the country running through San Francisco. Coming downhill, when you first came around the corner and saw Ocean Beach, you could hear the runners gasp at the view. "It's so beautiful!" I hear people saying. And in that moment, my heart felt like it would burst with pride. I am so lucky to live here! Thank you to all the people who traveled so far to participate, for your great energy and being stoked to be here (thanks for spending all that money, too, we need it!). Your enthusiasm made me appreciate San Francisco all over again.

The event was well-organized. The packet pick-up was smooth, there were plenty of volunteers and food. The aid stations along the course were well-stocked. Great volunteers: they got out of bed at o'dark thirty in the morning to help out and they had an amazing attitude.

The positive energy on the course was great. I had been warned that if you are not sporting a TNT jersey that you might be in danger of not getting handed water at the aid stations, or that the people on the course would be conspicuously silent as you ran by. I'm not on a TNT team, but I have made many donations to my friends who have done TNT events, including several hundred $ to people in this race alone. After the event, I can say I have absolutely nothing bad to say about TNT's involvement in this race. $18.5M was raised for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and you can't argue with the impact that amount of money has. Plus, seeing so many people running for a cause really makes the race more meaningful. There were posters along the side of the road with photos of TNT honorees, and even reading the names on people's jerseys was inspiring. Most of the support is for TNT because that's where most of the people in the race are from. The whole event is geared at being a TNT fundraiser, and I found the overwhelming TNT presence made it a positive experience.

CONS:
Because this is a Nike event, there was no evidence that any other sportswear companies exist on the planet. Usually there's some interesting gear at the expos. This expo was brand-alignment central: Apple and Nike. I felt a little overwhelmed with Nike branding by the end of the weekend and I ended up blowing off some steam and some $ at the New Balance store. Ha!

Most of the post-race amenities were swamped with people, so that whole "get a massage and a pedicure" after the race? Uh, yeah, if you're willing to wait an hour in line to get it! If you just ran 26.2 miles (or even 13.1), you are not up for waiting in long lines. You want a shower and something to eat. Which reminds me...

You have to pay extra for transport back. An extra $10 in advance or $15 at the expo. The lines for the buses were INSANE. Way, way longer than the post-Bay to Breakers line that took an hour. There were plenty of buses there, but there was no one directing people to the buses or helping out with that. Despite paying extra for the transportation back, we ended up getting a cab back because the thought of standing in line for two hours was not appealing.

I was disappointed to see in another review that the race organizers don't flyer the neighborhoods that will be affected by the event. It went along with the attitude of "We are Nike, and we'll do what we feel like doing."

But at the end of the day, this event raises EIGHTEEN AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS to fight blood cancer. That is simply incredible, so an event that would otherwise deserve three stars gets four."

I'm not sure if this is for cat people or dog people, but it's hysterical.

No cats or teenagers were hurt.

From the peanut gallery

Hoov, who just got out of the shower and is prancing around Jenny's apartment singing Kelly Clarkson, just told me to write, "I had the run OF MY LIFE!!!" (I just got back from a gorgeous run along the beach). Hoov needs to understand that in this blog, "all caps" is reserved for things like offensive ads for toys and people who have 17 children. Exclamation points are reserved for truly momentous things, like Supreme Court cases and anything Ann Coulter says.

Finest City

Right now, I'm sitting on the window seat in Jenny's place, looking out at the ocean and the palm trees and remembering why every time I come to San Diego I wonder why I don't move here.... well, move back here. I lived in La Jolla from 1994 - 1998 (minus one year "abroad") but living life as an undergrad somewhere like La Jolla doesn't give you a really good sense of the area. Jenny has shuttled back and forth between the Bay Area and North County SD since college, but swears that this time she's here to stay. I can't blame her - she's got a sweet place - a beautiful condo in Encinitas, one of the many cool, funky towns along San Diego's north coast.

What I do remember about San Diego is all about precincts. In college I was much more active in politics, and can probably tell you where you're likely to get a good reception when you're pounding the pavement on a Saturday morning to try to get a single goddamn Democrat elected in this town.

Odd sight of the day: When I left home Friday night it was rainy and foggy and this morning in San Diego it rained briefly, causing everyone in the greater area to briefly lose their mind and the sheer insanity of precipitation. We stopped by a surf expo at the Del Mar Fairgrounds and there was a guy with a huge tank on the back of a truck and he was vacuuming up the water. I guess if you were in front of a restaurant, but the fairgrounds? He was just going through the parking lot, vacuuming up the water. Go figure.